I’m a firm believer that once something works it works. Once I get an idea in my head, once the wheels start turning, there’s no going back. Stoned was that idea.
Graphic design is my thing– my chosen profession and what I plan to study once I get back to school. It brings me joy and has always kept me from having to fully accept the fact that I can’t draw. But I’ve always had that nagging feeling that I’d never be fully contempt with commercial arts. I remember having a discussion with my first graphic design teacher on whether I’d be at peace with myself knowing that whatever work I create would be in the hands of who’s paying. Sure, it would be my creation but more often than not it’d be someone else’s vision. They’d have the power to tweak, (oh, let’s be honest) completely butcher, my vision of their vision. Having to compromise with someone that, most likely, knew nothing about graphic design (usually) on something that I knew would jeopardize the design was not OK. I didn’t want to produce work that didn’t leave me satisfied. This was 2013 Ana. Fast-forward to now and, whether for better or worse, I’ve learned to deal with it. My job as a graphic designer has forced me to say, fuck it, that’s what they want. Has it gotten easier? No. Have I figured out a way to not get angry about it? Sorta.
Cue quarter life crisis and running to Blick for a watercolor pan and some brushes.
I’ve only ever dabbled in making fine art. I don’t even have the technical knowledge to comfortably call myself an artist but I love it, I always have. It’s the exact opposite of graphic design and it’s perfect. The fact that I don’t have to explain or validate my creation is so liberating.
I create, if you like it: good, if you don’t: good. Create without being a prisoner.
Now, don’t think for even a split second that this all happened as cohesively as I’ve written it.
[INSERT IDEA OF STONED HERE.]
Stoned was originally my idea for a crystal shop. Stoned, get it? I want(ed) to make handmade keychains using natural crystals and sell them. Really, I needed to create something, anything. But initially I wasn’t ready to put my own art out there. I thought, lots of people like crystals, lots of people use keychains, I can make little thank you cards with my art and slowly introduce my artwork. Essentially, I was afraid. I didn’t want to face the realization that maybe no one would enjoy my work and it’d flop. I felt like a phony (Catcher in the Rye reference!) I knew almost nothing about being an artist (I still don’t)–but I needed to make art and if I was going to start something, I knew it had to be named Stoned.